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A common thread seems to be cropping up in my conversations lately, and that theme is "purpose." Actually, no one has really used that specific word, I don't think. The words "meaning," "influence," and "difference" have come up a lot, though. In twenty-four hours I have talked to two different friends who are considering job changes to give their lives more meaning. Actually, I think their intent is to give their lives more to Christ. And there is a difference.  That's what I've been thinking a lot about myself.  What am I doing in this life that makes a difference in the kingdom of God?  I know that raising my son is pretty significant.  But it's also very isolating, if I'm not careful.  I want to have a wider-spread influence than that.  God has been so good to me, and I want everyone to know.  What does that look like in everyday life?  Am I doing a good enough job?  I am certain that the answer is no, because I am human and therefore A) selfish, B) often lazy, and C) worried about what others think of me.  It makes me sad.  What opportunities am I missing?  What lies am I buying into?  What personal ambitions am I letting get in the way? 

Anyone who knows me knows that I like to stay very busy.  I am always involved in at least one more thing than most sane people.  And oftentimes my pursuits are related to the church or a Christian organization in some way.  But lately I have been questioning what eternal impact those roles will have.  Has my involvement in organizations or groups truly changed lives for Christ?  I hope so.  But I don't want to have to guess.  I want to be certain that I am giving my all for His glory. 

It is interesting to me that Jesus didn't organize groups or events and sit back, letting the apostles do all of the work... He was all about people and relationships and telling anyone who would listen about his Father.  I know I don't do that enough.  I let my busyness be my evangelism and miss lots of opportunities for real ministry.  When I am worried that I'm not making a difference for the Lord, I try to think of another job I can do or role I can fill that will help give more opportunities for others to see Christ.  I don't usually stop to think that I could just love people better.

And here's where purpose comes in.  I wish I could be an awesome missionary like the apostle Paul or even tell everyone about Christ like the woman at the well... But I am not those people.  I am Melissa Riggs, and God has a purpose and a plan for my life, here in Nashville, in the United States, in the year 2008.  Sometimes I find that so hard to believe.  It feels so inconsequential.  And, in an effort to figure out what my purpose is, I am proned to immediately think of volunteer positions, jobs, or other forms of work that I could use to better serve God.  It is unnatural for me to think that a simple life without busyness could be of any consequence to Him.  

As I'm writing this, I'm realizing the error of my ways.  But it is difficult for me.  I struggle to see how I can impact others for him on any given day.  Deep down, I know I can, but I am afraid.  I don't want to leave this life without having told others about my great God: A God who saved me from myself, from this messed up world, and who loves me in a way that I'll never understand.  I don't want to regret not giving my life back to Him in the way He wants me to.  I want to live my life on purpose.  

Would you pray for me that I will understand this better, and that I will trust God to use me?

I had an eye-opening experience today. Brennan and I met our friend Rachel and her five-week-old son, Mason, at Starbucks and then headed to the mall. While we were at the mall, I offered to watch Mason so Rachel could do some shopping without having to haul a stroller around. Brennan was playing in the play area, and Mason was content in his car seat, so it didn't seem like a big deal. And it wasn't, until it was time to go, and I tried to get Mason back into his car seat (I had taken him out to do some singing and cuddling... how could I resist?).

I have felt richly blessed this past week by great friends and lots of opportunities to ponder the things of God. Jim and I have recently reconnected with some old friends from Dallas, thanks to good ol' Facebook. Laura and Ryan have shared deeply of themselves through their personal blogs, and reading their stories and struggles has really blessed me. I have cried for them, prayed for them, and wondered what exactly the Lord has in store for their lives. Their transparency has challenged me to live better and look to God more.

Leave it to my husband to write a blog to tell me he loves me! Actually, to be completely honest, I came across it when I sat down to write my own blog for him. (Is that where the love note is headed these days? Is there yet such a thing as a "love blog?" I'm sure Jim will tell me if there is.) I had been planning all day to write "Eight Things I Love About Jim" or "Eight of My Favorite Memories From the Last Eight Years," but taking these precious years and boiling them down to a few points is just too daunting.

Sometime shortly before 7:00 CDT this evening, Lissa and I will have been married for exactly eight years! They have been eight crazy, amazing, scary, challenging, wonderful years. We left everything and everyone we knew in western New York to go to Dallas with nothing but jobs and dreams. (At least we had the jobs!) We struggled to find a church home where we both felt comfortable yet challenged to grow, and we were richly blessed.  We bought our first house.  We went on a mission trip to Serbia.  We had Brennan.  We became debt free except for the house.  We were trained as financial counselors.  We grew in faith — in ways we never could have imagined — together.  (Still so much growth to do!)

This past year or so has been especially trying...and rewarding.  We heeded God's call to again leave everything and everyone we knew in Dallas to go to Nashville and truly serve God in my work, something I had been praying about for years: work that matters.  We worked (and worked and worked ...) on the house to prepare it for a sale.  We packed up everything and moved it to Nashville, uprooting our entire little family and throwing ourselves into chaos.

This year has been unbelievably hard.  We have struggled, disagreed, worked tirelessly, argued, cried, prayed, and, at times, cracked.  But, through it all, we did it together, with God's provision, guidance, and grace.  There is no one else I would want — or who would have been able — to have shared this time with me.

I love you, Lis!

Reference: http://holloway.me/post/36934056/nerd-alert

But, you really do have to be a nerd to understand it¹.

¹http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc2821.txt

I got an email today from a lady who found my site on Etsy.  She is a director for a craft fair here in the Nashville area, and she liked my stuff a lot and invited me to participate in their holiday craft fair on November 1st.  I was so excited!  I have always wanted to participate in a craft fair, and to be invited is pretty awesome!  I have no idea what it will be like, whether it's a good fair, or if it will be worth my time or money, but you never know until you try, right?  If nothing else, I will get some experience and a chance to hand out a lot of business cards!

If you haven't before, check out my site now!

www.lissalaneous.com

It drives me crazy when I can't find things at the grocery store. Since moving to Tennessee, I've realized what a grocery store snob I am.  I want a clean, bright, friendly store, and I want it to be well-stocked with reasonable prices. I recognize that reasonable prices are relative given the rising costs of food, but I do know that I need a standard store and not someplace like a Whole Foods (as wonderful as it is) for my everyday shopping. So, I am pleased that I have a pretty good Kroger down the street from my house. It's clean, the people are nice, and the prices are okay.

I have said it before, and before that, and probably even before that.  I really do intend to be better about posting — to be more deliberate and consistent — each time I say it.  It's not that I don't have things that I want to say or share on this site, but I guess I have a hard time getting up the motivation to actually sit down and write, not to mention that we have a 2-year-old running all over the place.

Well, my department leader at my job has inspired both me and Lissa to take up what will hopefully be some more regular posting.  That, combined with the fact that Lissa and Brennan are out of town this week, has given me some motivation to technologically update the site (mostly under the hood) and write this.  Needless to say, much has happened in the past 27+ months since my last post when Brennan was born.  I will try to recap in some semblance of chronological order:

1. We made it home from the hospital safe and sound (as you probably guessed), and got little sleep for awhile.  But, Brennan is amazing and good, so everything has gone smoothly overall.
2. We paid off Lissa's car. No more car payments!
3. We paid off Lissa's last student loan. No more student loans!
4. We are debt free except for the house!  (Sensing a theme?)
5. We led a Financial Peace University class at church.
6. We traveled to Nashville to be trained as Certified Financial Counselors.  Yes, both of us!  Note:  Financial Counselors, not Financial Planners.  There is a huge difference.
7. Brennan turned one.  We rented a pavilion and attempted to have a cookout to celebrate, but it was freezing, and we ended up back at our house. 
8. After much prayer, discussion, angst, and advice-seeking, I applied for a web development position with The Lampo Group, Inc. in Nashville.
9. I — and actually Lissa too — had several e-mail and phone interviews with Lampo over the next 3 months, and when they were seemingly about to hire me, I turned down the job.  It's OK.  That particular position just wasn't a good match for me.
10. We took a vacation to South Padre Island with my parents (my mom was newly-semi-kinda-retired), and we hated it.  The trip and the company were great; it was the area that we hated.
11. While in South Padre, Lampo got back in touch with me about another position that matched exactly what I had told them I was hoping to pursue!
12. <<Insert more e-mail conversations and phone interviews here.>>
13. Lissa and I traveled to Nashville without Brennan for final in-person interviews.
14. I accepted the job as Lampo's new System Administrator, I tendered my resignation to Idearc, I did a knowledge transfer at work, we worked endlessly and tirelessly on the house to prepare it to sell (with immeasurable help from friends), we moved to Nashville, we lived temporarily in a condo, I began my new job, we accepted an offer on the house after three days on the market, we found a rental house in Nashville, we traveled back to Dallas to pack the house and move, and we moved everything we own to Nashville (ourselves) and into the rental house...all in the span of two months!  <<Deep breath.>>
15. We are completely debt free and have a fully-funded emergency fund.
16. Brennan turned two.
17. We experienced the remainder of what have likely been nine of the craziest, most exhilarating, most difficult, most rewarding, most faith-challenging, most relationship-challenging, most emotion-draining, greatest months of our lives as we learned and fought and grew and prayed as a family.
     
     
     
     
18. ... Oh, yeah.  Then we got called by our former neighbors in Dallas to tell us that their had been a police standoff at our old house, and a man had been shot and killed on our front steps by a sniper.

All in all, it has been fairly quiet and calm in our lives since my last post. 

I apologize for the delayed posting, but as you can imagine, things have been crazy. We did the C-Section shortly after 4:30 p.m., and Brennan Jacob was born at 4:53.

http://brennan.jimandlissa.com/